Teen Angst - Worried About Your Teen's Social Life?

This is a question most parents find hard to answer, especially since in the present ultra modern era, there are unsavory temptations lurking around the corner that your teenage child may not be able to handle. Of course, teenagers would not echo these silly sentiments, as they would call it, as they believe they are old enough to handle any situation they may have to deal with.

It is impossible to open a newspaper or turn on the TV without reading or watching juvenile crimes committed for money, drugs, love, vengeance, peer pressure etc. Naturally, there is an underlying fear on account of which we draw the line and expect our children to toe them. We tell ourselves that this state of affairs would continue only until we are assured they are old enough to fend for themselves.

I realize adolescence is a difficult age on account of changing hormones and the fact that they feel left out from both worlds, where they are too old to be called a kid and too young to be termed an adult. It is an age of ‘I know it all’ and ‘you just don’t understand’ and all they want is to explore, have fun and try their newly found sexuality.

When my son turned 16, he started straining against my apron strings. He felt it was no longer ‘cool’ to accompany his parents to shopping trips or social visits to friends or even a wedding party. His friends were slowly replacing us in his loyalties and every other sentence he uttered began with ‘my friend and I’. Every time he asked if he could go out with a friend for a movie, I would say no as was the usual norm with parents of teenagers. I would insist on knowing who he was going out with, was it a U rated movie and what time would be get back. He would insist he was not a kid anymore and that parents of other kids were ‘chilled out’ and did not ask for an ‘account’ of their movements.

How many times have I heard my son complain ‘so and so’s parents don’t mind letting their son go’. I field his question with another question, ‘how many parents gift their sons with iPod or an Apple laptop or an iPad without really deserving them?

Ground rules set by parents of one teenager may not necessarily work for another teenager as there are several factors like circumstance, family, financial means, culture, etc., to be considered. Conditions acceptable to a city teen may appear insane to a suburb teen. What works for a precocious teen may be unsafe for an introvert teen and what is alright for a teenage boy may not be ok for a teenage girl.

My husband and I have conflicting views about raising children. He is infinitely more liberal than I am and believes in giving some leeway as opposed to my view of restricted outings, although we both agree that we must trust our son to do the right thing and take responsibility for his actions. Children, when they are little are pliable and responsive to rules but as they get older they chaff against restrictions and demand to be allowed to spread their wings. Strict parenting takes a tumble and every situation becomes a long drawn battle of words and wits. However, each debate is an eye opener and study in anger management.   
 

Over disciplining or spoiling your teenage kid could result in the opposite of what you hope to achieve. We should get an equal balance where your kid is subjected to both treatments and the outcome is usually favorable.

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Teenage Bedwetting – What Causes it and How to Deal with it

Mahesh sleeps deeply, he could sleep through a bomb blast...well, maybe that is an exaggeration, let us say, he could sleep through a fire alarm and not turn a hair and even going to pee would not stir him up, with the result, he wet his bed. Next morning, he is ashamed and upset. But he is not the only one with this problem. Every 1 teenage out of 100 suffer from bedwetting. Though children usually wet the bed at night until the age of six, if it continues until your child is a teenager, then it is termed in medical terms, as enuresis or involuntary urination and should not be ignored. Teenage bedwetting is very common and not a case to be despaired at all. It usually resolves on its own when your child turns 16 and can be easily cured as long as you are able to diagnose the root cause and deal with that.

Teenagers with enuresis may suffer isolation from his peers and the shame of not being able to fit in with their group on account of missing out on sleepovers, summer camps, night outs or any other overnight activities. Enuresis is of two kinds; primary and secondary.

The Causes

Hereditary – Teenagers with primary enuresis are said to be genetically predisposed to this problem, especially if one of the parent had similar problems as a kid.

Delayed development of bladder control – Teenagers with smaller bladders may be unable to hold on for long.

Hormonal disturbances – Some teenagers may have inadequate production of ADH (anti-diuretic hormone), that regulates the body’s capacity to retain water.  

Emotional and mental issues – Combative home atmosphere, death of family member or close friend, emotionally upset due to divorce, change in residence or schools due to relocation, may contribute to a teenager’s inability to hold his urine.

Deep-Sleep Disorder – Most teenagers suffer from primary enuresis due to faulty sleeping patterns, which is why the teenager is unable to rouse himself in the night to go to the bathroom.

(ADD) Attention Deficit Disorder or (ADHD) Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder – ADD & ADHD are also known to be one of the major causes of teenage bedwetting, as the characteristics of this disorder are closely related to deep-sleep disorder.

Emotional stress & psychological issues cause secondary enuresis. It is the largest contributing factor to teenage bedwetting.

 Defective spinal cord – Misalignment of the spine on account of a fall or an injury can cause obstruct proper nerve function, creating health issues, even bedwetting.

Congenital abnormalities, infection in the urinary tract, juvenile diabetes mellitus are some other causes.                                                                                                                             

The Treatment

As long as you are able to locate the cause, treatment can be relatively simple. Of course, you will have to follow the usual guidelines of;

Not taking any fluids for at least a couple of hours before bedtime.

Use the bathroom just before going to bed

Use a loud alarm to wake your child up to use the bathroom. It will not do any good, if you are able to sleep through the alarm.

Have your teenage child to use a bedwetting alarm that is to be placed inside the underwear and will set off as soon as it gets wet, giving a tangible sensation to the user, inducing him to use the bathroom. Regular use of this alarm will attune your son’s body clock to that time he normally wants to go.

Review treatment options for ADD & ADHD, through a skilled medical practitioner and start on appropriate medication right away. Resolving your irregular and complicated sleeping pattern would definitely cure your bedwetting problem.

Do a medical check-up of your child's urine, in order to rule out the presence of diabetes or any urinary tract infection.

Resolve any mental or emotional issues at home like sexual abuse etc, with your family members, through counseling, interactive communication or hypnosis.

Treatment from a chiropractor to correct the misalignments in your spine will restore your nerves and get them to function normally again.

Make your teenage child responsible for washing and changing the wet sheets, so that it will motivate them to work out their issues to stop bedwetting.

Sometimes, teenage bedwetting can be resolved through a combination of several therapies like medication, counseling and behavioral modifications. In case of Mahesh, he was the youngest with two older sisters. His counselor noted that he was always being dominated by his parents and sisters, which stressed him totally, causing him to wet his bed. The counselor advised them to modify their behavior as well as motivate him to be responsible. The advice was duly carried out and within a year, Mahesh was as good as new.

Teenage bedwetting is not an insurmountable issue. There are treatments and behavioral approaches that are very effective in dealing with it.

Click on the video below for more information on bedwetting alarms